be prepared

Today I prepared to eat healthy at the office. String cheese and an apple for snack, oatmeal for breakfast, and leftover vegetable lasagna for lunch. I did pretty great! Out of all of this, I only stole a tiny piece of dark chocolate to cleanse my palate after lunch and a green apple lollipop during my afternoon meeting. Not bad at all!

Also, I am proud to report that I have officially come out of my year-long hiatus from running outside. Last night, my dad and I did a slow but steady two miles, and tonight, we walked and jogged three miles. I'm really excited because the distance from their doorstep to our new house is almost exactly three miles. Plus, we will live along a bike route, so there is a bit of sidewalk covering the stretch of busy street and the rest is neighborhood roads. I had no idea we picked such a pedestrian-friendly neighborhood, except for the fact that our streets are wider and better paved.

Let me tell you how amazing it felt to run. Yes, I felt the usual nags in my legs, but I know those will improve with time. My problem I had with my left leg I can't even feel anymore. Hard to believe it was such a problem for me for probably six months of 2009. I think Pilates has helped a lot.

This morning, my legs feel great because I rolled them with The Stick last night. I know that The Stick is usually only used for really long distance runners, but it can't hurt right? I had to make sure my legs were prime because tonight is Extreme Tower Strength class at Pilates. It's a resistance strength class that usually leaves my muscles feeling strong, stretched, and shaky, so I know it's doing a good thing. Depending on how I feel after class, I might take advantage of their infrared sauna, even though it won't be so lovely going to the grocery store drenched :)

We are having guests for dinner tomorrow night, so my challenge tonight is to find a healthy recipe that can be loved and enjoyed by all!

I like my body.

Those four little words are hard to admit for a lot of people. I am proud of the effort I have put into my body with Pilates. In fact, I'd venture to say my muscles are exactly where I want them.

But I realize my body is far from perfect. I am happy with the way I look, but I am not fine with the way I feel. Things like having difficulty running and difficulty digesting food are not fun.

So once again, I am going to start up this blog and be much more consistent posting what I eat, how much I exercise, and just various thoughts that will improve my body image health and hopefully inspire others to do the same. I feel like the girl who cried wolf sometimes, especially with this blog. But my heart of hearts wants to get back the healthy lifestyle I've let slip this year of marriage. So I want to post at least once a day, even if this blog is just for my own safekeeping.

Here's what I think happened: exactly this time last year, I suffered some kind of leg injury that affected the back of my left knee, and I could feel it in my shin sometimes, but mostly my hamstring. If I ran, I couldn't walk properly for several days. I would rest it for a few weeks, try to come back, but it just didn't feel right for several months. My entire summer's exercise was limited, and the extra carbs/calories I had afforded into my lifestyle because of running really added up.

Now my goal is to not deprive myself of any food in general, but keep close watch over what I put into my mouth. A lot of little bites sure adds up! I want to watch portion control, even if I have to count calories for a little while. And eating healthy foods will sure help fill me up!


I want to incorporate exercise at least 5 days a week as part of my lifestyle, not a means to an end. I want to get back into running, specifically, since now I am back to barely being able to run a mile where I was running six. I have this idea of a goal in my head, but I want to make sure I'm being realistic. Once we move into our new house, I want to run every morning before work since I won't have to sacrifice much sleep with a five minute drive! Until we move at the end of April, I am going to keep doing Pilates and trying to ease back into running in the evenings.

Ready, set, GO!

more often than not

I've gained 5 pounds since my last post. I think.

Granted, I weighed myself this evening on a full stomach -- two no-nos, and even though I accurately predicted the reading on the scale, it was still an eye opener. Granted, we did just get back from a cruise just in time for Thanksgiving. I've tried to be good, really I have.

But good ain't cuttin' it anymore.

The truth is, I think I'm going to need to pull out all the stops. And by all the stops, I think I'm going to need to food journal. To carry around an unsuspecting looking notebook in my purse and log every morsel and crumb I put in my mouth. I think it will help a lot. I've compiled a list of healthy habits that won't hurt, too.

Ever since the 5th or 6th grade, I've been asking people with great bodies how they do it. When we were younger, it was because I went through puberty quicker than everyone else. Then it become a little genetics, but mostly eating habits and exercise. By now, I know what works for my own body, too. I've just found ways to make excuses like these:

It's not good to work out consecutive days. I need to let my muscles relax.

If I don't eat this piece of chocolate, I will end up eating more because I deprived myself.

I'm too tired.

Woe is me that I have to work all day and work out.

It's too cold outside.

I don't want to have to take another shower.

It's a special occasion. I can indulge just this once.

So here's the plan. No more excuses. I don't care that I should have started yesterday, and I'm certainly not going to wait until the New Year. Here are some healthy habits I'm going to implement into my life starting now.

1. Eat mostly whole foods. Think twice before putting something processed into my body.
2. Eat smaller portions full of nutrients. Stop eating when I'm not hungry.
3. Plan my eating and exercising for the week (with room to fudge -- no pun intended. Okay maybe a little pun intended.)
4. Drink more water. Much more. Less non-water drinks.
5. Exercise at least five times a week formally, and everyday informally. Use my lunch break wisely.
6. Try to run outdoors three times a week. This is the secret weapon. JT is buying me some special running tights to ring in winter (even though it was in the 70s today). Yes, I will be one of those women who wear shorts over tights.

That's it, I think. I will add more as I think of them. I will not deprive or burn myself out. Those words don't belong in my vocabulary. And I will keep in mind that I have so much more incentive than numbers on a scale or my appearance, because obviously those things don't alarm me enough.

I want to remember how I feel this exact second in time:

swollen + indigestion + bloated + lethargic+hopeful

Hopefully when I make decisions about my health and lifestyle, I will remember this feeling and choose wisely more often than not.

back in the game

I've done a pretty good job of maintaining my weight loss of 30 lbs, but I'd really like to lose 20-25 more before the wedding. That will be lighter than I've been since my growth spurt in 6th grade, believe it or not. I actually weigh what I weighed when I was in seventh grade.

However...

My eating habits have been atrocious the past few months. I'm probably exaggerating because this last week at work I ate pretty much every Christmas cookie and chocolate in sight. I will work hard to burn it off. While my lifestyle change has been pretty consistent for 2007 and I pretty much don't notice cutting out sugar, limiting my bread intake, and running for fun, I need to make my lifestyle intentional, if that makes sense. I need a little surge as a reminder.

Here's the plan:

For the next four months, I will:

1) Monitor portions and balance them between the food groups, even if it means starting a food journal again. I don't believe in deprivation diets. They don't work. But if someone gives me a cookie, I will eat it and be happy. I will not act like I've never had chocolate before and eat more.
2) Incorporate more white fish and lean meats, salad, fruits and vegetables into my life. Cook them myself.
3) Pick one meal a week and splurge on it (within reason, and only if I have been a good girl that week)
4) Eat one dessert a week. But only if I eat the whole thing and don't feel guilty about it afterward. (This is also if I have been a good girl.)
5) Develop an exercise program that will keep me interested and produce maximum results. Stick with it.
6) I joined a women-only gym that's the exact distance between my house and my workplace. I will go to it consistently and get my money's worth, even if I have to wake up at 600am to do it.
7) No matter how cold it is, I will get outside and enjoy nature and sunlight for at least a few hours a week.
8) Improve other aspects of my health, beauty, and well-being that do not have to do with weight or fitness.
9) Drink 5-8 glasses of water a day. It taste good and makes me feel better.
10) I will work on being as beautiful as I can be on the inside, too. That starts with being happy with myself for my effort, not for my appearance.

For the next four months, I will NOT:

1) Punish myself or get depressed for eating poorly. I simply won't be rewarded.
2) Indulge every craving I have.
3) Eat out more than twice a week.
4) Make excuses about why I can't work out a certain day.
5) Form diet/workout regimens that set me up to fail.
6) Obsess about numbers, the scale, or the way my clothes fit.
7) Consider this healthy conscientious movement something that defines me.
8) Consider this healthy conscientious movement a diet.
9) Allow myself to be less beautiful because of a bad attitude.
10) Give up.

I will do these things because I love myself and I am worth it. And because JT deserves to unwrap the hottest body I can give him (gross, sorry). I am also doing this for my future children. Slightly a stretch, but true.

The way I see it, I can look at this as the ultimate Christmas present to myself, or I can look at it as punishment for being imperfect.

I choose the former. I hope you do, too!

Perfect Run

I had the best run tonight. It was my usual three miles, except I made three new friends: a four year-old and his six year-old brother, and a woman named Marcia.

As I turned the corner to start the trail, I noticed an older lady fruitlessly trying to chase after two young boys. The boys had white-blond hair and were riding a little bicycle and a scooter, respectively. I caught up to them eventually.

LB: "You guys are such good boys! Are you guys having fun?"
Boys: "Yeah!"
LB: "Good! You guys stay where your grandparents can see you, okay? Have fun!"

I pass them as they wait for their grandparents. About thirty seconds later:

Four Year-Old: "I'm coming! I'm coming! I caught up to you!"
LB: "Hi! Alriiiight!"

The six year-old is not far behind him, hollering at him to wait. They pass me, going downhill before they finally stop and wait for their grandparents on a park bench. When I passed them and said goodbye, the four year-old hops off the bench and runs after me, his scooter forgotten.

"You're BEAU-tiful!" he said. And at that moment, a smile came to me and hasn't left yet!

On the way home, I passed a lady with a sunflower hat. I complimented her and she said it kept her cool. I told her I was proud of her and to keep up the good work. She told me she'd been walking to try to lose weight but that her back had been injured for two years. We had a good conversation and both ended up making each others' day. We agreed to look for each other because we do the same trail every night.

The best part of the run? As I made it to the Jenks Bridge, the sun was cresting over the hills and reflecting on the Arkansas River. The sky was all kinds of pinks and golds and purples. It wasn't like Oregon, but it was close. I sat there and watched it disappear, listening to Hanson and thinking. I whipped out my cell phone and took a picture, so when I figure out how to post it, I will!

Soapy

Just to let you know, I jogged two miles tonight. Without stopping. With intermittent sprinting.

I accomplished this with the help of my iPod, Truffle Shuffle, who now boasts a brand new playlist that, I discovered, includes the Remember the Titans theme song. Picture me bouncing along to that as JT and I did our final sprint at the end of the stretch. I weaved. And flailed. Embarrassing, maybe, but it helped me get past those moments where I wanted to flop facedown on the pavement, catch my breath, and wait until JT realized I wasn't coming and arrived to peel me from the sidewalk.

There are so many excuses I have to keep me from running. Even doctor's excuses. I have patellofemoral knee pain syndrome, which not only hurts my kneecaps, but also affects my pronation and causes pain in my feet when I run. Years of basketball cause my patellar tendon to act up, giving me Osgood-Schlatter-like symptoms when I run (bump where your shin meets your knee gets really inflamed). I have toe problems.

You know, I'm tired of waking up in the morning and thinking, If only I'd have stuck with my diet and exercise plan two months ago. Just think of how much better I would look and feel right now! Many of these health issues will probably be resolved when I drop a couple of pounds, but until then, running isn't normally a feel-good process. Tonight it was. I can get used to this feeling. Just wanted to let you know!

I am learning that the truth is, there's always going to be an excuse. The weather isn't right. I ate too much and will probably barf. I'll do it tomorrow. Excuses are the ugly, red-headed stepdaughters of Self-Doubt. Something I am realizing that's true for every woman is that no matter what you have done in the past, no matter what you look like, no matter what kind of shape you're in, or what LIES people who love you have told you that have ingrained those doubts in your mind, YOU are worthy enough to be the best you can be. That doesn't have anything to do with a specific size or shape, it's about loving yourself and treating yourself accordingly. It's one of the hardest truths to accept, but so worth it!

Wow. So sorry about this soapbox. I will step down now! Hope this reminder helps, though!

work that body, work that body!

It's been a few days since I've posted, but it's because I've been busy being good, I promise! I exercised SIX days last week, even though I'd only scheduled myself five. My brothers and I picked up a pretty gruesome game of hoops. Burning off my Easter dinner was a lot of fun that day!

My dad and I have been running 2-3 miles about three times a week, Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. I am really proud of us for getting stronger and being dedicated to it. Now, if I can just improve my eating habits I will be a-okay.

I've done great eating oatmeal every weekday morning. I notice a huge difference when I eat oatmeal. For lunch, I want to try to either bring Lean Cuisines to work where my portions are measured, or leftover healthy dinner. If we eat out, my rule is to eat small portions of something that looks moderately healthy. In the past, JT and I have enjoyed getting a soup or salad and then splitting an entree. It's cheaper and healthier!

The biggest food trap is my parents' house by far. My mom had a pantry bigger than my bedroom built on to her house a few years ago, and she keeps it stocked with goodies like Gushers, Cheez-its, marshmallows, and others of my vices. Plus, we love love love to cook and together. But if I can just monitor my portions and food journal religiously, I think this running will really pay off.

I am excited!